Why Holidays Are Important For Fathers Without Custody

When a father doesn't have custody of his children, he may have a difficult time of it when holidays roll around. He may not have custody because of a divorce or a breakup with the mother. If a holiday is not specifically spelled out in some kind of court order, then dad generally won't get to see his kids. Even if it IS in a court order - well, mom has some bogus excuse why the kids should spend the holidays with her. And what is really happening is that the children are not seeing their relatives on dad's side of the family.

Holidays are when families get together. Oh sure, Dad may get the kids every weekend. But getting the family together on a weekend is much harder than on a holiday. And forget trying to do this on one of those midweek visits! Trying to co-ordinate seeing relatives around the rush of the visit: pick the child up, drive to dad's house, eat, do homework, drive back, and then the inevitable confrontation with mother. It's pretty impossible to keep the children in touch with anyone but Dad on these midweeks.

But holidays! Aaaaah! No school for the children. Most people have off from work. Many people plan to travel and get together. Wouldn't it be WONDERFUL to have the relatives - aunts, uncles, cousins - spend this happy time with your kids? Just you and them. No hassles with mom or her family or her new boyfriend's or new husband's family. There's always the looking at the clock, counting down until it's time-to-take-back. But for those brief hours or days, your children get to know a whole new host of relatives who love them.

Sadly, too many fathers are denied holiday time with their children. Sometimes, they are just flat out denied contact with their kids. Or Mom says HER family has a "get together" for that particular holiday. Or "sudden plans" come up. Whatever it is - Dad and the relatives don't get to see the kids for a holiday. That's wrong. And it's harmful.
What can you do about it? Go to Court.

1. Some states have a specific holiday parenting time schedule. It is a MYTH that if Dad doesn't request a holiday, that he waives visitation for that holiday! If you are denied a holiday - or you are told that the kids won't be available - you need to DEMAND your rights, and their rights, to this time. This is a PETITION TO ENFORCE PARENTING TIME.

2. Many states also say that parenting time trumps EVERYTHING. Family get-togethers, family traditions, even religious celebrations - EVERYTHING. So if your ex claims that any of these mean you don't get the childern for a holiday - file a PETITION FOR CONTEMPT and a PETITION FOR INJUNCTION, to get your UNINTERRUPTED time with your kids.

3. Many states have laws that say that Dad can NOT be denied visitation if he is regularly paying child support. And since so many courts are now requiring child support to come straight out of paychecks, YOU probably are paying your support regularly. If your ex says flat out you won't get time for a particular holiday, file a PETITION FOR INJUNCTION to force visitation.

4. If you are celebrating the holidays of your religion (as opposed to mother's religion), then your children need to be aware of your faith and practices. If she denies you this time, again, file a petition with the Court. The judge may not even be aware there is a religious difference that is causing turmoil.

These are YOUR kids, and you don't get a second shot at raising them.

Erik Carter has been a practicing trial attorney for over 15 years. Currently he is exclusively practicing family law, and maintains and develops The Father's Rights Library, which is devoted to educating Fathers on effective litigation strategies for court hearings, mediations, and negotiations. Currently featuring "Aggressive PLEADINGS For The Non-Custodial Father" and "Aggressive DISCOVERY For The Non-Custodial Father" at a special discount price.
He also runs STRESS JUDO, a program to train you to turn stress into OPPORTUNITIES.
If you are looking for REAL self-defense: Target Focus Training.

I Need To Know Who A Phone Number Belongs To

I need to know who a phone number belongs to. Hopefully, you as a husband or boyfriend will never have ot be in this situation. Hopefully, you'll never see a phone number on your wife's or girlfriend's cell phone that you don't recognize. Or as a father, you won't see a phone number on your son's or daughter's phone bill that looks suspicious. I need to know who a phone number belongs too. Hopefully, it won't happen to you.

A phone number you don't recognize could be a new friend. Or a relative has changed to a new phone. Or it's the new club for your kids. But what if it isn't? What if it is that guy who kept talking to your wife at that party after she had a few too many? What if it's that new assistant at church or school who seems a little too interested in your kids?

Here are 5 ways to track down a phone number:
1. Enter the phone number into a search engine. This may give you a result, but search engines don't search phone number databases.
2. Use a reverse phone number website. These work for phone directories, where the service is free. These don't work generally for cell phones. They may also be out of date.
3. Search social networking sites. This is even less reliable, as there is no guarantee that the name you get back is the real name of the person.
4. Ask or call it. This depends on whether you trust you will get an accurate and truthful answer.
5. Maybe the most reliable method is to use Reverse Phone Detective. This is a paid service that is probably the most reliable method of identifying a phone number.

In the interest of full disclosure, this link is an affiliate link. Because you get what you pay for.
Try it. If it's your marriage - or your kids - that's on the line, are you going to let a couple of bucks stand in the way?

And if you are already involved in the family law courts:
The FATHER'S RIGHTS Library - aggressive pleadings and discovery that turn her lies inside out.

Why Does Anyone Study The Effects Of Divorce On Children?

Have you ever seen those studies in the news that make you scratch you head and ask why they even bother to study it? Or better yet - why you need a study to tell you what you already know? Take the effects of divorce on children. If you are a father - whether divorced or separated from bio-mom - you KNOW the effects of divorce on children.

1. You are the bad guy. Whenever your relationship with mom is brought up, you are the bad guy. There may be a mom who admits to fault. Please ask her to leave a comment. For all you other fathers, your kids are being told one side of the truth.
2. You are the reason for _______. Kids can't get new shoes? Daddy isn't paying enough child support. Daddy's not at son's school play? Well, it can't be because mom didn't tell him about it.
3. I need to ask Mommy. Father is a secondary figure in your children's lives. Important questions - kids go to mom. Questions that involve buying something? Kids go to dad.
4. Pay for college. Notice it isn't "discuss choice of college" or "be asked for input on college major." It's "go ahead kids - pick any college you want because the court can make Daddy pay for it."
5. Thank you Daddy. Really? You hear this? Thank you Daddy for the child support? Thank you Daddy for maintaining the health insurance? Thank you Daddy for showing up for parenting time even though Mom complains about ALL the time? You hear this? Really?

If you are tired of the effects of divorce on children, then get yourself a copy of:
The FATHER'S RIGHTS Library.
Written by an experienced divorce trial attorney (15+ years in several states), this series of manuals covers AGGRESSIVE pleadings and DISCOVERY methods that will break through her lies and turn around the affects of divorce on children.
The FATHER'S RIGHTS Library.
It's the ammunition you need in your divorce wars and child custody battles.