Why Holidays Are Important For Fathers Without Custody

When a father doesn't have custody of his children, he may have a difficult time of it when holidays roll around. He may not have custody because of a divorce or a breakup with the mother. If a holiday is not specifically spelled out in some kind of court order, then dad generally won't get to see his kids. Even if it IS in a court order - well, mom has some bogus excuse why the kids should spend the holidays with her. And what is really happening is that the children are not seeing their relatives on dad's side of the family.

Holidays are when families get together. Oh sure, Dad may get the kids every weekend. But getting the family together on a weekend is much harder than on a holiday. And forget trying to do this on one of those midweek visits! Trying to co-ordinate seeing relatives around the rush of the visit: pick the child up, drive to dad's house, eat, do homework, drive back, and then the inevitable confrontation with mother. It's pretty impossible to keep the children in touch with anyone but Dad on these midweeks.

But holidays! Aaaaah! No school for the children. Most people have off from work. Many people plan to travel and get together. Wouldn't it be WONDERFUL to have the relatives - aunts, uncles, cousins - spend this happy time with your kids? Just you and them. No hassles with mom or her family or her new boyfriend's or new husband's family. There's always the looking at the clock, counting down until it's time-to-take-back. But for those brief hours or days, your children get to know a whole new host of relatives who love them.

Sadly, too many fathers are denied holiday time with their children. Sometimes, they are just flat out denied contact with their kids. Or Mom says HER family has a "get together" for that particular holiday. Or "sudden plans" come up. Whatever it is - Dad and the relatives don't get to see the kids for a holiday. That's wrong. And it's harmful.
What can you do about it? Go to Court.

1. Some states have a specific holiday parenting time schedule. It is a MYTH that if Dad doesn't request a holiday, that he waives visitation for that holiday! If you are denied a holiday - or you are told that the kids won't be available - you need to DEMAND your rights, and their rights, to this time. This is a PETITION TO ENFORCE PARENTING TIME.

2. Many states also say that parenting time trumps EVERYTHING. Family get-togethers, family traditions, even religious celebrations - EVERYTHING. So if your ex claims that any of these mean you don't get the childern for a holiday - file a PETITION FOR CONTEMPT and a PETITION FOR INJUNCTION, to get your UNINTERRUPTED time with your kids.

3. Many states have laws that say that Dad can NOT be denied visitation if he is regularly paying child support. And since so many courts are now requiring child support to come straight out of paychecks, YOU probably are paying your support regularly. If your ex says flat out you won't get time for a particular holiday, file a PETITION FOR INJUNCTION to force visitation.

4. If you are celebrating the holidays of your religion (as opposed to mother's religion), then your children need to be aware of your faith and practices. If she denies you this time, again, file a petition with the Court. The judge may not even be aware there is a religious difference that is causing turmoil.

These are YOUR kids, and you don't get a second shot at raising them.

Erik Carter has been a practicing trial attorney for over 15 years. Currently he is exclusively practicing family law, and maintains and develops The Father's Rights Library, which is devoted to educating Fathers on effective litigation strategies for court hearings, mediations, and negotiations. Currently featuring "Aggressive PLEADINGS For The Non-Custodial Father" and "Aggressive DISCOVERY For The Non-Custodial Father" at a special discount price.
He also runs STRESS JUDO, a program to train you to turn stress into OPPORTUNITIES.
If you are looking for REAL self-defense: Target Focus Training.

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Father's Rights: No Change From Pres. Obama

President promised change. But for fathers, that's an empty promise. He even boasted about a bill he had written or something, about encouraging fathers to be more involved with their families.
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Has he asked anyone to investigate the out-of-control child support cabel?
Is he addressing the number of children killed by mothers or their boyfriends, yet fathers are always called violent and dangerous?
NO! He has not! And he won't.
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